Glossary Masterlist
£
The British pound sign. Used by the fake-Charlsie on NonSociety's now-defunct Comment of the Day section to denote that she was the "real" Charlsie during the period of many Charlsies (just before the period of "oops! Comment of the Day is gone!") (January 2009) (link)
11 dates
Before Julia will have sex with a guy.
Alex Drosin
One of Julia's many exes that she lived with for two years in NYC after she dumped her fiance (late 2004) in Newport Beach. Alex was married with children when he shacked up with Julia. He looks kind of like an older douche in this pic. Julia thinks he is gay. He also likes "amazing design" and started the website DietTV.com.
Alexander Marquardt (the ineffable)
Julia's more successful Georgetown classmate, ABC News Moscow correspondent, rumored Julia fuck buddy, and "genuinely nice guy"; his Twitter.
All the proclamations that never came true, eg. harvard business school, new years resolutions, taking care of cancer dan, moving in with roommate, etc.
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Angry, Sort of Sad Adults
The haterz, and moderators and commenters of Reblogging NonSociety, which Julia calls "My Little Hate Site".
"At a meeting”
Nothing is going on, Julia is trying to appear busy, she is having a conversation with her "business partner" Lilly, hanging around the Tumblr office annoying people, or she is doing a 10-minute interview in a shitty cafe with Severus Snape.
Authenticity Costume
Sweats, glasses, no makeup, and a webcam (link, link, link, link)
Backslash
A mark of non-geekdom.
Ballet / Dance
Julia used to be dancer and loves ballet, though she never goes to any performances (unless they're freebies!) and possesses the grace of a clomping donkey. see also Dancer's bun
Balthazar finger banging
Though it didn't make the Daily News or Gawker until April 16 2008, Julia is alleged to have let Men's Health editor Dave Zinczenko slip her a little something under the table at Balthazar when they were dating back in 2007.
BFFs that have mysteriously been dumped at the wayside
randi ZzZ, shira lazar, courtney friel, caroline mccarthy…
BiCoastal Birthday Bash
A pair of parties to celebrate Julia's 28th birthday in February 2009.
Blerg
An expression of distaste that can be applied to anything, whether it be dating, food, the World Economic Forum, dating again, or online shopping frustration.
Bloat Print Cleanse
Anorexia in a bottle. Julia credits her flat stomach to the green juices, but in fact they have wreaked havoc on her metabolism. Her hunger has caused her to go on cupcake binges while on a cleanse. NonSociety has disseminated a lot of misinformation about cleansing and juices.
Blow jobs
Thank you notes, according to this tweet.
Bobby Pin Mullet
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Bray for pay
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Braying
It's what donkeys do best.
Brother Britt
A seemingly sane young man who will beat his sister to the altar.
Bunnies
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CakeGate
CakeGate, a term coined by FormerGawkerEmployee, refers to Julia licking someone else's birthday cake. see also BiCoastal Birthday Bash
Cake-licking
see CakeGate.
Calling everybody “dude”
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Calling Mary a bitch
Julia let her have it when Mary didn't write New Year's resolutions (link)
Cancer Dan
Julia's lymphoma-stricken high school boyfriend whom she frequently blogs about to earn pity points.
Cankleshausen Syndrome by Proxy
Extreme embarrassment experienced by proxy due to Julia's highly inappropriate and/or embarrassing actions, tweets, IMs, blog posts, interviews, lipdubs, TMI segments, TV appearances (e.g. Alexa Chung), Gawker comments, etc. Coined by commenter Dr. Gary DDS. cf. Munchausen syndrome by proxy
Can’t wear the same outfit more than once
Julia is a "media personality" who can't wear the same outfit twice, or at least shouldn't wear it more than three times. So why does the same DVF dress keep popping up all over the place? Other dresses too seem to be worn frequently. Smelly, kinda like those (free!) shoes she never takes off.
Carrie Bradshaw 2.0
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Celebrichauns with founder fetishes
Julia was publicly dumped by Charles Forman, see the video
CES
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Charlsie
NonSociety intern during January 2009 who kept a blog of her experiences with the banality trio until it was shut down. She is a college student in Virginia and blogs here. see also £
cite/sight/site
see Mary's spelling
claiming she has stalkers
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Coffee Art Project
An ambitious, abortive art project to photograph every coffee Julia drinks for a month. Sadly, only a single photo was taken.
colonics
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Complimentary Grapefruit
Julia falsely claimed she worked for the Washington Post to get out of paying for a grapefruit at a hotel
Condom Fairy
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Corn on the cob
What Julia eats before fleeing (link)
Could have been an Obama speechwriter
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Crashing Randi’s bachelorette party
Julia went to the "adorable, ineffable, indefatigable Randi's bachelorette party" in Las Vegas (April 2008), though the two had only met the previous month at SXSW. Julia and Randi lipdubbed in matching bathing suits. Julia was not invited to the wedding.
Cupcankles
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Custodian of her memories
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Daddy Revenue / Dadsers
Peter Baugher, business litigator (Yale Law '73 and Princeton '70), and Julia's dad. He is apparently going to sue the pants off RBNS, though he himself is the victim of privacy violations by his daughter, who has posted his voicemails (x2, and mom's too!), emails, and picture (and more pics) on her blog. He is also politically active, which allowed Julia to get her foot in the door on Capitol Hill. The Chicago Tribune of Sept. 17 1972 profiled then-law student Peter V. Baugher under the headline "Nixon Aide's Fringe Benefit: Eating Presidential Cakes". UPDATE! Dadsers also gave some congressional testimony way back (scroll down to Biographical Information).
Dancer’s bun
A simple up-do that is unusual for Julia, designed to make her appear refined (link)
Date rape
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Davos
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Decimal dating
A skewed numeral system used by Julia Allison to count her dates with Harvard Harley: example "date 5.5 with Harvard Harley."
Disclosure
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“Don’t read into it!” and “Don’t over-analyze it!”
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DOPAMINE!
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Dr. Bobby
Bobby Buka MD is the dermatologist who is responsible for Julia's lumpy face and Mary's frozen face. He is featured in the documentary "Youth Knows No Pain" (see Expiration Date), and hangs out with Julia socially. Julia has used legalese to deny getting restylane injections, but we all know she is full of BS (and fillers).
Easter Slut Costume
A completely inappropriate, Blair Waldorf-esque ensemble worn by Julia to church in Chicago on Easter 2009. The outfit is documented in this video, head to toe desciption, and pic (note the contrast to Momsers' conservative outfit). Julia also tweeted during the church service, as well as photographed it.
Egoblogger
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En route to…
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Exaggerbate
To massage the truth of one’s circumstances until climax is achieved. Example: Julia Allison is at home tonight, exaggerbating to thoughts of her 5.5 group hang-out sessions with Harvard Harley while wearing one of the gowns she borrowed for Monday’s fauxtoshoot.
Expiration Date
In the HBO documentary "Youth Knows No Pain", Julia claims that women have expiration dates (btw, it's strange that she missed the premiere). She's parroted the same thing before, though she's also contradicted herself. In the TMIweekly livestream of Aug. 6 2009 (partial transcript, see 16:48 onward), and in an email to a reader, Julia has tried to backpedal on her statement and frame the "expiration date" as a matter of fertility and menopause, instead of the deterioration of physical attractiveness and desirability.
Facebook friend/fan-gate
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Fanboys
loren feldman (?), milo y., paul carr, david karp, dave morin, CharFor…
Fashion Week Umbrellas
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Faux-ga
The Extended Camel Toe pose can be used to impress billionaire crushes
Fauxtographer
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Fauxtoshoot
see also Podium Pose
Filthy Jumper
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Freshwater pearls
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Fuck You Money
The money Julia Allison aspires to make, which will serve as a "fuck you" gesture to the Nick Dentons of the world. Julia filmed some clips for BigThink.com in Dec. 2008 and is listed as an "expert" on that site; the "fuck you money" clip is here. Here is a picture of the banality trio giving the world the finger as the fuck you money rolls in. see also Sausage Snappers
Gaping maw
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“Gawker is ruining my life”
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Georgetown!!!!!
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Getting punched in the face by James’s sister
Julia dated James Fay (former drunk trustafarian and Julia's host on her July 2009 LA trip) in college, and when they broke up she allegedly ran off to do major damage on his credit card. Then James's sister punched Julia. Girlfight! (Julia has a habit of not getting along with her boyfriends' families.)
getting sponsored smart car towed
aka "I parked in a legal spot"
Girl-crush
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Granny Moneypanties
Julia's paternal grandmother and rumored trustfund source. Granny has not spoken to Momsers in 30 years, so Julia has to meet her at the Pancake House. Granny Baugher is the inspiration for Julia's LIU wrist tattoo. She also did not like Julia's Wired cover.
Green Vagina
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*grin*
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Harvard Business School
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Harvard Harley
Brendan Brogan, a Harley-riding (actually Vespa) Harvard graduate that Julia obsessed over and decimal dated in May/June 2009. They met on a blind date. The last we heard of him, he was in British Columbia.
“Haven’t packed yet”
Usually presented as a question ("Ask if I’ve finished packing. No, really. Ask."), this is another one of Julia's peculiar traits that she thinks makes her cute and quirky. She usually posts or tweets it hours (sometimes minutes) before she's supposed to board a plane. Exhibit A, Exhibit B. This bit of insanity is usually followed a few days later by photos of Lilly in her suitcase. Exhibit C, Exhibit D.
“Hells to the no”
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“HERE’S THE THING, HERE’S THE THING!”
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hipcheck (from becoming julia allison)
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Honk Bray
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Houston’s
$14 veggie burgers that Julia consumes almost daily
Horizontal scrolling
This complicated navigation method (the wave of the future online, apparently!) has been the default at NonSociety from the start, all the way through current version 2.0. It is universally disliked for its user-unfriendliness. An anonymous commenter best encapsulates the insanity of HorScroll here.
“I HAVE A TALK SHOW ON NBC!”
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I Just Say
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“I’M AN ARTIST!”
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I’m a Journalist
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“I’m a media personality”
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I’m not random!!
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Indiana University…freshman year
A chapter in Julia's life that might have been lost to time, were it not for the Internet. It is documented briefly here, alluded to by Julia, and finally acknowledged by her at the very end of the the TMIweekly livestream (see transcript/comments here).
“I never drink.”
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Ineffable
see Ridiculously Ineffable
Insomniac Confessions Video
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Internet Think Tank
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Interns
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Is If The Internet is Female?
see Meghanisms
"I’ve never had anything injected into my forehead or cheeks." (link)
Julia only sees Dr. Bobby for her acne, right? see also Legalese
Izea
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Jabberstalky
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Jackles misadventures
There are many
Jackles, Jankles, Jowlia, Joolia, Droolia, Yulia, Foolia, Jowlia, Julverine, Our Lady of Introspection, Pink Lady, Jaba/Jabba the Butt, Shamulia/SHAMoolia
A rose by any other name would smell as stanky
Jewish Writer
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Jill from LIU
see Julia Allison
Jordache Jeans
Jordan Berkow, Julia's girl-crush extraordinaire and object of obsession since June 2009. A Harvard grad married to a Yalie (who's in a rock band!), she has a tattoo and a shih-tzu, too! Julia met Jordan through Harvard Harley. UPDATE! Jordache and her wonk eye have joined NonSociety (Sept. 2009) as the first new contributor since Mary's departure.
Kevin Rose
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Kissy-Face, Donkey Bray and Blowing Kisses
(link)
Krystal Kahler
NonSociety CEO (link) and "Mary" in Danish (link)
Lake Michigan Spring Break
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Legalese
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Let it unfold
A saying by Granny Moneypanties; Julia's has the letters LIU tattooed on her left wrist.
Liecast
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Lilly Shit
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List of exes (link)
Cancer Dan (high school), James Fay (college), Michael (fiance), Alex Drosin, Dave Zinczenko, Jakob Lodwick, Kevin Rose, Charles Forman, Ben Leventhal, Harvard Harley…
Living differently
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Long Island University
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Macbook Air
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Mary's homelessness
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Mary's spelling
It grates
Massaging the truth
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Megan Lasagna
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Meghanisms
Wisdom from a "geekette"
Meghannaise
Also known as the Invisible Solid and "Money Shot" Asha
Midol High
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Miss [insert name here]
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Mom’s special
A vomitous blend of frozen spinach, guacamole, salsa, cranberries, and collard greens invented by Julia's mom. It is described by Julia in this video; check out the comments for additional disgusting ingredients listed by Rachel Billow.
Momsers
Robin Baugher (née Stickney), Stanford class of '73, former Nixon speechwriter and Julia's mother. She has been Julia's behind-the-scenes editor, is a size 6, and has passed on her food issues to Julia. Momsers is active in philanthropy and her church. Though they are kindred spirits, sometimes Julia has gone for long periods without speaking to her mom.
MY FRIEND DAVID KARP
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My High School Debate Partner
Judy, a Columbia law student whom Julia always refers to as her "high school debate partner". Julia and Judy were supposed to move in together in Fall 2009, but that fell through. Some more random info on Judy.
New Year's resolutions
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Orange Arches of Doom
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Othering
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Parents' Downtown Condo
Did you hear, Julia's parents have a condo in downtown Chicago? Surely you must be aware, after all the tweets and blog posts. Yet another example of Julia using her parents' achievements and wealth to bolster her status. Commenter rage on the issue ensues.
Paultato
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Peltergeist
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Pelts
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Per usual
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Pink Padded Cell
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Podium Pose
Posing for fake pictures in front of a lectern at MIT to make it appear as if you addressed a very important audience (link)
Poofy
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Poor. Punctuation. For. Emphasis.
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Pottery Barn (for kids/teens)
Just read through this list to see evidence that most of Julia's apartment decoration and gift-giving are centered around Pottery Barn products. see also Pretty Pink Pony Palace.
Pretty Pink Pony Palace
Julia's apartment, also known as the Flaccidizer due to the abundance of pink and tutus. Julia has taken a cue from RBNS and started referring to her apartment as the pink palace. The apartment is a cramped studio, but can always fit in a motley array of douchebags if need be.
Putting a hash tag on dumbass phrases on Twitter (#OuchOuchExerciseHurts, etc., infinity)
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QOD
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Rambo
A vapid former handbag designer from Houston
Read Tori Spelling's book on the plane
On her sad appearance on Chelsea Lately (June 2008), Julia claims she read sTORItelling on the flight to LA; she was, in fact, asleep the whole trip.
“Reader” emails
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Returning freebies for cash
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Rosie O'Donnell
Rosie has many homes, one of which happens to be in Julia's building. Of course Julia's tried to hobnob with her, but Rosie is not in very often, and is not neighborly. Julia's two middle names are "Tact" and "Discretion", so she tweeted about a screaming match between Rosie and her wife. More bad press for Julia. It's worrisome that Julia also mistook Rosie's SUV for a cab.
Roomba
see Meghanisms
Sausage Snappers
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Seaworld shilling
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Shifting Paradigms
Julia periodically experiences epiphanies, manic bouts of clarity/happiness/zen, and tries to reinvent herself (plus she has a solution for the woes of journalism (hint: it involves paradigm shifts!)). She also thinks dying her hair constitutes a major life change.
Six word memoirs
(link)
Spackled on Makeup
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Spartacus
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Tearing up at everything
At the ballet (link), on her blog (link, link, link, link, link), at acupuncture (link)
The (insert overused adjective) (insert name here)
Retardedly illiterate
The Hair
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The Little Mermaid
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The Shoes
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The Skirt Pull
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Throwing in the Slanket
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TMI Weakly
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Um, er, oops?
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Unhealthy addiction to gingham
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Wangs
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wedding dress
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Weekly vanity photoshoot
Part of Julia's "job" is staging a continuous stream of photoshoots. During her tenure at Time Out NY, shoots were a weekly affair (sometimes mistaken for low-budget porn!), but even since being fired Julia has kept up the pace (birthday shoot, red-head romper whore shoot, defiling NY public library shoot). Girl's gotta have new headshots after each visit to Dr. Bobby! Meghan has also branched out into photoshoots (her calling!) for her shilltastic sponsor (seems this earlier shoot was too crappy to use for shilling). Mary has taken part in her share of photoshoots, but also schooled Julia on the "selfish, tacky" nature of impromptu shoots. PS. Couldn't leave out this little gem.
Werewolf
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Wheels up!/Wheels down!
Tweeting from aboard a flying aircraft
"WHO DOES THAT?!"
A rhetorical question posed by Julia after she has described some inane action or impulse of hers (such as wondering if she should Twitter that she accidentally wore her headband in the shower) to indicate to her vast audience how quirky and weird and original and adorable she is.
Women have an expiration date
see Expiration Date
Wonk eye
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Yay.com!
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YSLs bought by fans
After tweeting about Yves Saint Laurent shoes that were beyond her means, Julia announced that a "fan" was actually purchasing them for her. Mary has also been the recipient of fan-bought shoes and a bag.
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